Key Takeaways
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When it comes to engagement rings, diamonds still hold the number one most popular gemstone slot, but they’re not your only option.
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Choosing other gemstones, such as sapphires, emeralds, and rubies, can help you shop for high-quality rings on a budget or added meaning.
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The ultimate engagement ring balances durability, longevity, style, ethics, and value over tradition.
Introduction
Tradition says engagement rings are diamond solitaires on a gold band, but that wasn’t always the norm. In fact, although this is what most of us have grown up seeing as tradition, it wasn’t even until the 1940s, when a successful DeBeers marketing campaign hit the scene, that “a diamond is forever” was born.
The reality is that diamonds weren’t even mainstream until after a South African discovery in 1867, and we’ve come a long way since that style was the norm. Today’s brides and grooms get to select from a vast wealth of styles, including multiple metals and types of gemstones for engagement rings. This guide helps you understand the difference between gemstones and diamonds so you can make an informed decision before you buy what could be the most important piece of jewelry in your life.
Gemstones vs. Diamonds: What’s the Difference?
For over a century, diamonds have dominated the engagement ring arena. Whether princess cut, emerald, cushion, or other, these rings have become synonymous with a forever kind of love. But they’re not the only way to showcase your affection for your partner, and if they prefer other gemstones, a diamond isn’t even the best choice.
Gemstones give the wearer multiple benefits that diamonds don’t have. Diamonds might shine in brilliance and tradition, but gemstones take center stage for personality, variety, and value. Let’s break down what most people consider as they shop for the best types of gemstones for engagement rings.
Durability & Mohs Hardness
The Mohs scale is used to determine a stone’s hardness and, therefore, longevity. Diamonds top the scale at 10, making them the most durable natural substance in existence. While not unbreakable, it would take a substantial impact to scratch or chip a diamond. Understandably, this makes diamonds ideal for a ring that undergoes significant daily wear and tear and stress just by being on your finger. But many other stones are durable enough to withstand the same environments.
Coming in a close second in brilliance and durability is moissanite. This lab-created gem ranks a 9.25-9.5 on the Mohs scale, and, although it can come in various shades, moissanite replicates diamonds in appearance so closely that it often takes an expert to tell them apart. If you’re looking for gemstones with deep hues, sapphires and emeralds rank as an extremely durable 9 for toughness and high wear and tear capacity. On the other hand, “softer” stones such as opals, emeralds, and morganite require more gentle handling and secure ring settings.
Cost Comparison
Generally, the cost of stones is measured in a carat-by-carat comparison. A one-carat diamond can run $3,000 up to $20,000, depending on the quality, while the same size sapphire or ruby could be $1,000 to $5,000. Both are high quality. The cost difference comes down to factors such as demand and rarity. Lab-grown stones reduce the price tag significantly.
Symbolism & Meaning
Various gemstone meanings for engagement rings can make a difference in your selection, as well. Diamonds are the go-to for never-ending love and purity. Sapphires are linked to wisdom and loyalty, rubies are connected with passion and wealth, and emeralds with rebirth and harmony. As you shop for your ring, it’s important to connect the gemstone’s meaning with your partner’s values.
Key Factors to Consider Before Choosing a Gemstone
While the meaning is important — you want to ensure your partner connects and appreciates their gemstone every time they see it on their hand — it isn’t the only factor to consider before you choose a ring. Elements such as durability, the 4 Cs (cut, clarity, color, and carat), the treatment of the ring, and how it was sourced also play a major role in the final decision.
Durability
Think about the lifestyle of the person wearing the ring. Will they be okay with a soft ring or delicate settings, or would they be better off with a durable stone that can withstand more wear and tear and protective settings that can handle pressure, snags, and other forces? How long do you want the ring to last without regular maintenance and careful treatment? Diamonds, moissanite, rubies, and sapphires can hold up with less cleaning and cautious care (although they should still be checked by a professional regularly to ensure there are no issues with the stone or setting), but opals, emeralds, and other softer stones and dainty settings need careful handling and regular upkeep.
Color, Clarity, Cut & Carat (the 4Cs for Gemstones)
The 4 Cs are where price comes into play the most with gemstones. Color drives the gemstone’s value. The more saturated its hue, the higher the price tag likely will be. Clarity is essential in a diamond, as inclusions are more visible in these clearer stones, but in darker gems, small cracks or blemishes are easier to hide. The more precise the cut, the better the stone’s brilliance is maximized, driving up the price. Finally, carat is connected to the size of the stone, and higher-quality gems with all 4 Cs are the premium selection.
Treatment & Enhancements
Most gemstones undergo some type of treatment or enhancement to increase their appearance. Heat, oiling, and irradiation are common techniques that boost color and clarity. Jewelers are required to disclose the type of treatments or enhancements within their pieces. While it’s not unusual to see treated stones, it is possible to find untreated rings, although the prices are higher as these are less typical.
Ethical Sourcing
If you value ethical sourcing of the metals and gemstones in your engagement ring, finding jewelers with certifications like the Kimberley Process for diamonds and traceable origins for colored gems through the Responsible Jewelry Council or similar organizations is vital. Small-business artisans like Valerie Madison offer transparency at every step of their jewelry-making process.
The Most Popular Engagement Ring Gemstones (Pros, Cons & Who They're Best For)
With so many breathtaking, brilliant rings on the market, how do you know the best gemstones for engagement rings for your partner? If they haven’t already told you their favorites, you have plenty to choose from, which can make the selection challenging. The best rings blend durability, personality, and beauty, but each gemstone has pros and cons. Let’s look at the most popular engagement ring gemstones and who they’re best suited for next.
Diamonds (Mined & Lab-Grown)
The traditional ring, diamonds are unsurpassed in durability on the Mohs scale, have a substantial resale value, and optimal brilliance. However, mined diamonds carry the weight of human rights issues, often linked to conflict diamond sourcing and unethical and environmentally unfriendly processes. To eliminate this issue, opt for lab-grown diamonds instead. Diamond rings are best for those who prioritize tradition and sentimentality and want sparkle on a budget (lab-grown).
Sapphires
While still durable enough for everyday use, sapphires are also more affordable than diamonds. The stereotypical deep blue sapphire signifies loyalty and wisdom. Sapphires are often heat-treated to enhance their color, and regular wear can easily dull their shine. However, they’re perfect for those with an active lifestyle who want color without a lot of upkeep.
Emeralds
One of the few gemstones that can say their inclusions add character and dimension, emeralds are connected with rebirth and love. The downside of this precious stone is that it’s soft enough to be easily damaged by wear and tear. Emerald rings require regular care and maintenance, but are the ideal choice for romantics who don’t mind a protective setting and will tend to the stone’s unique needs.
Rubies
The passionate red tones show off vitality and protection, but the rarity makes rubies one of the priciest gemstones. Inclusions in rubies are frequently seen, and jewelers often use treatments to reduce these blemishes and enhance shine and color. Ruby engagement rings are ideal for bold personalities who are drawn to strength and fire.
Moissanite
As close to diamonds as you can get without having the real thing, moissanite gems are highly durable and can be found in a range of clear hues. The brilliance mimics diamonds, but the difference is often noticeable up close, reducing the ring’s prestige among diamond lovers. If you’re on a budget but want sparkle, sustainability, and durability, moissanite is an excellent choice.
Morganite
Morganite’s soft peachy-pink glow and feminine air, especially in rose gold settings, plus its affordability, make it a popular gemstone today. The stone is only a 7.5 on the Mohs scale, so it’s best suited for those with gentle lifestyles who don’t mind the regular upkeep necessary to keep the ring shiny and clear.
Aquamarine
Connected to calm and tranquility, aquamarine stones are a favorite among those who prioritize peace and the ocean. However, this stone is softer, at a 7.5 rating, so it needs special care to stay in good shape. Those with less active lifestyles who will keep up with regular upkeep and cleaning enjoy the aquamarine engagement ring symbolism.
Opal
Ahh, the hypnotic color interplay of an opal, how it has attracted so many of us to its beauty! The depths of opals can range from milky white to pinks and blues, but this fragile, water-sensitive stone shouldn’t be worn for everyday use. Opals are best for those who will cherish the stone and take it out on special occasions.
Tanzanite
Tanzanite’s rare violet-blue hue is attractive, bringing the eye to the ring easily. But even though it’s too soft for daily use, the scarcity of the stone elevates the price tag and demand. For adventurous couples who prioritize rarity over durability, the tanzanite engagement ring is a successful choice.
Rare & Unique Gemstones for Modern Couples
Tradition is less important for today’s modern couples who prize values, budget, and personal choice over the diamonds of yesterday’s bride and groom. Instead of the typical engagement ring gemstones we see in chain jewelry stores, small artisans using rare and unique stones like alexandrite, tourmaline, and less-common colored sapphires are in higher demand. These gems, set in artistic detail and complete with inclusions and color-change effects that truly enhance their rarity, are ideal for those who prefer individuality and artistic flair over convention.
Lab-Grown Gemstones: A Modern, Ethical Alternative
The demand for unique stones made ethically has shifted the main landscape of jewelry creation to lab-grown gemstones. These stones deliver the beauty and performance of a mined gem without adding to the demand of new mining, which can include conflict diamonds and human rights issues. Couples who prioritize transparency, traceability, and value over all else can enjoy the appearance and style of lab-grown gemstones without the ethical conflict.
How Lab-Grown Gemstones Are Made
Lab-grown gemstones use special, controlled environments designed to mimic the pressure, temperature, and atmosphere of the natural conditions that make a gem. Specific techniques that have been mastered by scientists ensure crystals are built over weeks and months instead of hundreds of thousands or millions of years. This provides the stone with the same core chemistry and structure of the mined gem, without the extensive supply chain and long wait that drives up cost.
Cost & Quality Comparison
When it comes to cost, there’s no comparison. Lab-grown gemstones take less time to grow and can be made in controlled environments, reducing the cost substantially. It’s possible to purchase better-quality (4 Cs) stones and stay within your budget.
Why They're Gaining Popularity
As the world turns to more and more of a focus on environmental impact, lab-grown stones are not an alternative anymore — they’re the norm. Because of the harmful practices that mining stones encourages, natural stones direct from their environment are losing demand. Lab-grown gemstones align with today’s modern priorities: ethics, affordability, and beauty.
How to Match Gemstones With Ring Settings
You’ve chosen the stone. Now, what type of setting pairs best with it? This question matters, as we mentioned earlier. Some stones can handle delicate settings, while others, especially the softer gems, require protective metals that are sturdy enough to keep them safe from wear and tear. From color to style, here, we’ll guide you as you match your gemstone with the perfect ring setting.
Metals: Gold, Rose Gold, White Gold, Platinum
The color of the metal band should complement the stone. Traditional yellow gold is an iconic way to contrast the band with vibrant gems like sapphires and rubies. Rose gold, while popular today, is best kept when the gem needs romance, like the soft pink of morganite. White gold and platinum highlight cool tones, like the blue of aquamarine or tanzanite. Platinum serves a dual purpose: it is hypoallergenic and offers superior strength.
Best Settings for Softer Stones
If soft stones are your must-have gem, then the setting must be protective enough to keep it safely in their metal artwork. Bezel settings that encase the jewel entirely, halo settings that shield the gem with surrounding diamonds, and low-profile or tension styles that keep the gem from being exposed to wear and tear are the best options.
Vintage vs. Modern Styles
Vintage is today’s go-to for the traditionalists. These styles encompass timeless favorites like filigree and milgrain, adding charm to any band. Modern styles tend to be sleek, classic, and minimalist, with solitaire and geometric bands
Understanding Gemstone Certifications
Gemstone certifications verify authenticity, quality, treatment, and ethical origin. These come from labs like the Gemological Institute of America (GIA), the American Gem Society (AGS), the International Gemological Institute (IGI), or Gubelin, a Swiss lab known for its reputability of testing and citing gemstone authenticity. These labels are intended to build buyer trust that the jeweler’s pieces are what they’re advertised to be. Look for certifications and ask for documents that match the gemstones and metal to the jeweler’s assurances for transparent shopping.
Budgeting for a Gemstone Engagement Ring
What’s the ideal price range to budget for a gemstone engagement ring? The answer depends on your priorities. Many modern couples recognize the importance of starting their future on a strong financial footing, so they’re forgoing the traditional bank account-emptying engagement rings and debt-inducing weddings, opting instead for affordable, well-designed rings made of high-quality stones from artisans like Valerie Madison rather than major retailers. But ultimately, the cost for the ring will depend on the gemstone and metal quality, and whether you opt for custom or pre-designed options.
How Much Do Different Gemstones Cost?
As mentioned earlier, the cost of the gemstone depends on factors like quality, scarcity, and sourcing. If you want brilliance and tradition, aim for diamonds. Color, personality, meaning, and longevity preferences let you shift to other, less pricey stones that let you balance budget with beauty.
Where Can You Save Without Compromising Quality?
Shop for lab-grown gems if you want to save money without impacting the ring’s quality. You can also ask for gems with a slightly lower clarity that are eye-clean but may have imperfections an expert would catch. Choose simpler settings and a 14k gold metal instead of platinum. Shop at reputable jewelers online and comparison shop across multiple retailers with similar products.
Custom vs. Pre-Designed Options
Because pre-designed rings can be made in bulk with ready stock and lower labor, they’re usually less expensive than custom-designed rings. But custom allows for personalization, such as unique settings and ethical sourcing. If you’re looking for heirloom-quality gemstone engagement rings and your budget and timeframe (usually months or longer) allows, a custom ring adds an extra touch of thoughtfulness.
Care & Maintenance by Gemstone Type
Proper care extends the life of your gemstone, no matter which kind you end up buying. Some stones, like diamonds and moissanite, are durable and naturally long-lasting, but others, like emeralds and opals, need regular, delicate care.
Here’s a short summary of the levels of care of the most popular gemstones:
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Highly durable: Diamonds, moissanite, sapphires, and rubies are usually safe for daily wear and most cleaning solutions are acceptable to care for them.
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Need protective settings: Emeralds, morganite, and aquamarine can be worn daily if they’re in protective settings; however, avoid using chemicals to clean these gems as they can damage the color and luster.
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Fragile: Opals and tanzanite are beautiful, but they aren’t intended for daily wear. These soft stones are easily damaged and aren’t water-resistant. Too much use or exposure to hot and dry environments can cause them to crack.
If you aren’t sure how much maintenance and upkeep the ring will get, stick with a highly durable ring that can withstand daily exposure, most chemicals, and all typical environments.
Questions to Ask Before You Buy
Your engagement ring is a significant and important investment. Before you buy from any retailer, ask these must-known questions.
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Where was the gemstone sourced? Does it have certifications to prove its ethical sourcing?
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Is the metal recycled or Fairmined?
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What are the 4 Cs of the stone, and can you provide a matching GIA/IGI report?
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Is the stone suitable for daily wear? What setting protects it best?
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What’s your exchange policy/warranty? How do you handle resizing or repairs?
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How does the price of this stone and setting compare to similar rings? Does the price include an insurance appraisal?
If customization is on your mind, be sure to add a question about their customization policy, costs, and timeline. The sooner you get started, the more likely the ring can be crafted to your approval and created by your deadline.
Common Myths About Gemstone Engagement Rings
With rumors as rooted in tradition as the engagement ring, you’re probably going to hear some myths as you shop. We’ll debunk the most common ones here.
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Only diamonds are the right stone for engagement rings. While engagements have been part of history for millennia, the first diamond ring didn’t show up on the scene until the 1400s, and the tradition of using this stone didn’t start until the 1940s DeBeers marketing campaign.
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Colored stones are less durable than diamonds and shouldn’t be used for engagement rings. Every stone, even diamonds, has its chipping and breaking point, but if you’re looking for durability, anything with an 8 or 9 rating on the Mohs scale, like sapphires and moissanite, is just fine for an engagement ring.
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Lab-grown gems aren’t valuable. Lab-grown gemstones once had the label of “alternative,” but today’s gems are not only valuable, in many cases, they’re preferred! These gems can be traced from origin to jewelry setting, making them optimal for those who want ethically sourced gemstones and metals in their engagement rings.
Final Tips for Choosing the Perfect Gemstone
The perfect gemstone for an engagement ring is a matter of personal preference. Whatever stone you choose, ensure it is durable enough for the wearer’s lifestyle, has secure settings to keep it in place, and was sourced ethically. Test the ring for comfort and size, and only shop at transparent, reputable jewelers.
Conclusion
Your love story is unique, and your engagement ring doesn’t need to follow the lines, either. At Valerie Madison, our artisans use ethically-sourced materials and prioritize transparency with every piece of jewelry we create and sell. Let our timeless, elegant, and classic designs symbolize your story. Shop Valerie Madison online today.